Boys With Toys
Since the dawn of time the lifelong obsession with all things technical, gadgety, oversized, gimicky and novel has stereotypically been associated with just the one gender of our species…the male. As Natalya Fyodorova Siminova once said in Goldeneye, “you’re like boys with toys”. Yes that’s right (no point denying it), we’re easily entertained by all things with a WOW factor, whether it’s a radio controlled helicopter to menace the cat with, or a burger challenge on a menu that’d likely make a Hutt barf all over itself, men want adventure through useless (well, not useless), expensive stuff…and why not. So we’ve been poking around the web (drooling) at things we need right this instant, and this is the top 5 list we came up with. We did decide to go with a more affordable list though, as opposed to the one with the life size Han Solo in Carbonite statue for £4,000 +.
The Wallet Ninja, we thought was a marvel of modern engineering and modestly priced too at £8.99. It is the size of a bank card with a whopping 18 features (although we’re sure we could think of more uses) including a screw driver, box opener, the standard bottle opener and generally a load of differently shaped pointy bits for every day use. It doesn’t however make a very good throwing weapon as the picture suggests, but we still want one none the less. The second (and probably the most important) thing we want needs no introduction; it is after all, obviously a giant gummy bear. Pick one up for about £35 to be the envy of everyone who lays eyes upon it, and what’s more is you can get a giant gummy worm too. The gummy bear is the equivalent of about 1,400 regular size gummy bears.
Long on the list of many, the novelty ice cube; why, a bemused spouse may ask, to which you simply look back and forth between spouse and said product with incredulity. We have allowed ourselves to go geek and chosen the dreaded Death Star as our featured ice cube, although the various designs available are equally epic of course. You can pick these up for around £10 online or in some speciality stores. At the risk of gravitating further into the realm of geekiness, we have selected the desktop Rocket Launcher as seen in The Big Bang Theory as our next must have. This incredible device connects to your computer with a USB lead and using the downloadable software required, you can instigate battle with any member of the household/office with the click…of a mouse (providing they’re no more than 7 meters away). These are around £20 – £30.
Barbeque season may be a little while off, but prepare to be amazed by the customisable steak brander. Any self respecting man will appreciate this tool, as their is a certain amount of responsibility and pride when it comes to man-cooking, plus think of all the things you could brand on to peoples food…we’ll leave that to your imagination. You can get one of your very own for about £30. We do realise there is a 6th picture, but we felt there was no way to not include a pet raccoon in our top ‘5’. Yes, you can legally own a domestic raccoon here in the UK, but responsibilities you must take; they require constant attention and fresh teddies to play with (going through plush toys like vanessa feltz at a carvery) and if you’re not careful, your raccoon can easily become obese…oh, and they’re aggressive during mating season…and if you have children, expect them to get bitten. Hands up, they perhaps don’t make great pets but one can dream, and with a price tag of around £400, that’s probably an earfull you could do without. Look how cute it is though!
Thanks for reading.
The team at Urban Male.